Infertility.

Some people I know have wondered and are scared to ask at times because they don’t know what would unfold of asking me about this subject. Or at work when I carry a conversation and kids come up. I tell them and they apologize and ask me forgive them tor asking I just tell them it’s okay. I am totally open and willing to discuss it. I am pretty sure this is the biggest trial of my life. Full of ups and downs. Each time we go to a doctor’s visit you don’t know if it will be good news or bad news this time, or another procedure. Then they do all they can, then tell you, you have to see another doctor. It gets tiring. It’s nothing Dave or I have done in the past, it is just there. Honestly though, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Dave and I have grown so much closer together. We have learned to love each other more deeply and willingly. We have such a strong relationship with our Heavenly Father. We have learned prayer and hope and love and to just be still and know that he is there and he knows all things and that he has a special plan for Dave and I. Someday I WILL be a mommy to children, and I can’t wait. But until then, I need to greet my trial with a smile, and hold a baby just a little bit longer when I get the chance. “I recognize that, on occasion, some of our most fervent prayers may seem to go unanswered. We wonder, ‘Why?’ I know that feeling! I know the fears and tears of such moments. But I also know that our prayers are never ignored. Our faith is never unappreciated. I know that an all-wise Heavenly Father’s perspective is much broader than is ours. While we know of our mortal problems and pain, He knows of our immortal progress and potential. If we pray to know His will and submit ourselves to it with patience and courage, heavenly healing can take place in His own way and time.” —Russell M. Nelson, “Jesus Christ—the Master Healer,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 86