These past couple weeks have been so emotional for me, I have found purpose, peace and answers to our long frustrating journey to growing our family. (Yes, I am totally crying as I'm writing this, so sorry if thoughts are scattered).
It started about a month ago when I challenged myself to go to the temple once a week again. So the first week I went secretly heart broken and weary and frustrated with a group of friends from high school. I was giving up on our adoption journey and starting to be ok just having Dave and myself as a little family forever. Throughout the session and after in the celestial room in the temple I kept hearing my dad's voice in my head saying "Just wait, Sis. It will be okay. Trust me." I have never had that strong of an experience before. I knew it was the holy ghost, but It's never been that strong! After stopping for ice cream and later getting home I got on Facebook and I stumbled upon a comment on a private LDS adoption group I follow of a lady talking about her embryo adoption agency/business and a link to her website. I clicked on it and as it pulled up I got the 2nd most strongest feeling that this is what we need to do! I had never heard of this! I was super confused and wanting to know more. So I got on good ol' Youtube and found the ladies story (below) and I was shocked and amazed. When Dave got home I told him everything and he was excited and all for it. We contacted the lady and she gave us more information and later sent us paperwork. She said it will most likely be around a 6 months waiting game after we get paperwork in. She also said to look at other places and get on other waiting lists. We did. so now there are 3 options. Just what ever happens first is what we will go with. (most likely it will be hers)
1) If we get the green light from her, she will ship the embryos to our clinic and my specialist will start the process.
2) We're on her doctors list as well. He is in Portland, but it costs 1/3 less because his way doesn't need an attorney, its just in office and the embryos are already donated. We have friends 15 minutes away in Vancover so we would probably just drive up and stay with them.
3) My specialist is rolling out with an EA program and we're like 26th in line. Probably not going to happen.
I bet you are wondering what the crap I'm talking about, huh?!
So! When a couple has an IVF (where they take the sperm and egg to form embryos) sometimes they have extra left over. You can either freeze them, donate them to science, have them be destroyed or a newer thing have them be adopted! Once they are adopted they finish the process of implanting some of them into the womans body and hopefully takes and grows into a baby(s)!
One thought I had after we were educated and before we submitted for paperwork was that I need to be able to carry a baby. How can I carry a baby if I can't even get pregnant? I went to get a zone from the lovely Teresa. I was unloading everything to her and we muscle tested and felt really good about 3 embryos being transfered when the time comes.
It was confirmed in the temple and in the sweetest blessing Dave gave me the other night. One thing that was said was "it dosnt matter if you deliver a healthy baby by embryo adoption or if you choose to adopt from a birth mother, You will recieve the same spirit." How sweet is that? It is amazing to me that his plan is bigger than mine. I never would of thought this could happen. I get to carry my adoptive children. I don't have to miss out on any of our childrens experiences. Especially their entrance into this world. I know he has guided us to the best alternative we didnt even know was out their! He knows our needs and wishes and he hears our prayers and is on our side, If we just go to him in prayer and faith and patience he will bless us! The past few days he has been unfolding his plan for us and his plan is SO much bigger than ours, If we live righteously and follow his commandments, he will show us the way to be happy and guide our lives to bless us. I know this first hand and this is my testimony.
