sleeplessly depressed

Dear Alone, Why do you accompany me tonight when I am too depressed to sleep. Something in my life needs to change. Yet, I am scared for the change, and I feel like Im being forced to change instead of wanting to. But if it makes the people around me feel better, I will please them. Am I thinking too hard, or too deeply? Is it all really just in my head? Can people really, truly change? I just dont know any more. Once you've been hurt so much, its hard to trust. I wish I could just shove all of this in a box, burn it, then burn the ashes, and move on with a new chapter in my life. I wish this would all go away, so I can finally enjoy my colorful life again, instead of this blurry dim black and white. I have so much to enjoy, but I just cant let myself have at it. Unfortunatly yours, Sleeplessly Depressed